welcome to my little world.
keep holding on,
you know i'm gotta make it through,
i'l make it through
just stay strong,
you know i'l be here for you,
i'm here for you..
Avril's song ringing in my mind..
telling me not to give up..
yeah, just when everyone starts finishing exams and packing up back home,
im still struggling for four of my core papers.
SBS is unfair! even next year's exam is also until THE VERY LAST DAY~
well, what to do, guess i'll have to get used to it.
even though there's more time to study now,
i don't feel any improvement in my study progress=((
-sigh-
and i didnt do well for my last paper=(
a lot mistakes here and there.
i know it's no use to cry over spilt milk,
but i cant help to feel : aiks, i would not go wrong IF i have studied this and that, IF i have paid more attention to memorise this and that etc etc.
well, i guess that's human nature to feel that way.
*at least it is for me=p*
okay, shall not brood over it, make my mood even worse!
i need to jiayou already.
and i hope my good memory comes back to me~~
cos i have been forgetting things more frequently these days=(
is it because i have not taken good care of my health and couldnt get enough sleep?
well, i dont know.
i sleep quite well, and eat quite well, during this exam period.
but why is this happening???
arggg~
suddenly realised and remembered,
there are things undone.
i can still do it NOW but it will be quite weird.
anyway, this is it :
i really wanna thank everyone, PERSONALLY, for his/her help and contribution during the Exam Nightmare.
*nah told you it is weird already, to feel this now, i should have done this AGES back, but i didnt do it! which is why i dont understand too~ cos this is not what i always do!*
anyway, i dont understand as well, as to why am i feeling this particularly strongly at this point of time?
haha, maybe there are too many things in my mind queueing up for the frontal lobe of my cerebral cortex to be processed.
and it just happened that this piece of information got its queue only NOW.
LOL
well you may say this is lame.
but,
sometimes in life,
we will definitely encounter something,
which we regret for not doing it at the right time, and at the right place, under the right situation.
and later on when we realised,
it was already too late.
just like now,
i have wasted my time blogging,
and didnt go study,
and i couldnt reverse the time anymore=(
or when i wake up but silence my alarm and sleep back until few hours later,
only to realise later that i have missed the good time to do my laundry in the morning=(
so,
dont ever let a chance bypass you, to make you feel regretful later, for the rest of your life.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
i wonder if anyone ever feels this.
when exams come nearer and nearer, apart from rising stress level, the mind tends to wander and gets distracted easily, and prone to become emotionally-laiden.
this is what happened to me.
i tend to think more (not academically though=X), or rather stone/day-dreaming more often than i usually do.
perhaps it is the boredom from all the books and notes that put me off.
perhaps my mind and brain automatically tries to shut off things when i eagerly try to squeeze all the info into it.
and,
i become more emo than usual.
i feel like im standing alone in this battlefield.
once saw a good line, (not too sure if all the words are correct)
"You and I, me and you, and all the rest, we are all living together, but we live alone."
i cant agree more.
as i grow older, as i see and experience more things,
i cant help but to realise some of the cruelties in this world.
we cant escape.
unless we are dead.
but even if we are dead, they still exist.
what brings me to type all these out, i have no idea.
no particular reason, just some sort of emotional let-out, out of no where.
sometimes i wish i could be a simple-minded animal, then i dont have so many things to worry about.
and,
i feel emptiness ballooning inside me.
i dont know why.
but it is just there.
i feel that i am not loved and concerned.
but that isnt true i know, i still have family and friends.
haha
probably just a weird part of me which i cant comprehend.
well,
stop all these emo-ing please,
focus on the study fenwei!!!
*dont waste time!*
lol
and good luck to everyone having exams now!
take care~~~
especially in this rainy reason
just something random...
-"please dont cry, because i cant see your tears in the rain"-
Thursday, November 12, 2009
i thought my blog was dead.
since long time ago.
because i have no time to post,
because i have no reasons to post,
and because i dont know if there's anyone out there who is willing to spend some time reading my posts.
nevertheless, those are not important.
i have always treat here as a place, of my world, to express some of my thoughts and feelings when i dont know where and who i should direct them to.
*sounds like this is a place to voice out all sorts of my negative feelings haha*
yup so anyway, have been busy with school club activities past few months, apart from heavy schoolworks this semester.
first time being a social secretary in my school club, alot to tell but i have no idea where to start off..
i have learnt alot, know new friends,and it wasnt easy at all.
but, im glad that i have chosen this path, even though it is never a smooth one.
i have faced things i have never encountered before,
i have braced myself to make decision,
i have learnt my weaknesses,
and i have also learnt to trust myself and never lose faith with what i have decided.
again i have to thank everyone who have helped me alot along the way,
when i feel sad and streesed and on the brink of losing out,
i know i have to face this alone, and no one else except me, have to hold upon the responsibility,
but amidst all these,
i have seen helping hands.
not all but i know they are there.
and what more? i have survived!=)
and i know i wouldnt repeat my mistakes.
-----
again, here comes the exam period.
and again, i feel so unmotivated, compared to last time i dont know why.
but i have to work hard, this semester is really tough!
fenwei you must jiayou~~~
F O C U S !!!
-----
and, some kinda feelings have been spreading in me.
i wish that i could get rid of them.
they are unhealthy.
they make me differ from my true self.
they make me confused.
they make me couldnt concentrate on what i am supposed to do but sailing away in a wrong direction.
"there wont be any interception between two worlds"
i am not supposed to believe in fairy tales and fancy dramas.
i should wake myself up.
no worries, i think i can.
*to laugh it off, im still the mighty fenwei after all isnt it?~
it will go away.
at least that's what i think.