welcome to my little world.
突然想用华文来写一写部落格。。。
哈哈。。
最近的我，感觉上很情绪化。。。
或许是因为考试压力
或许是因为讨厌自己在很多时候都做不了决定。。
就好像今天
为了不懂该什么时候回jb家，为了不懂要不要weekend留在宿舍读书不回家，为了应不应该把下礼拜的实验挪到明天，等等等的小事大事，而让自己在处于一种精神紧绷地状态。。
有时候会想，为什么自己会这样。。
为什么别人可以做到可以读到的东西我没时间做呢？
大考已经剩下差不多一个礼拜的时间了
我还没开始复习
只有一个“死”字能形容我现在的处境。。
每天都在忙lab reports， 忙到有时候发现，哇！时间怎么过得那么快。。
好像我才刚来NTU没多久。
加上我读书做功课用的时间每次都比别人多上很多。。
一时因为怎么都看不懂的课文而想放声大哭。。
一时又逼自己一定要克服它。。
真是双重性格。。
我真的太不了解自己了。。
一大堆的化学mechanisms, 一箩筐的lectures notes, 堆积如山的tutorials, 更不用说看都还没开始看的past year papers。。
我真的很怕很怕。。
也越来越觉得我能不能够survive。。
有时候真是觉得力不从心
大概这就是大学生涯吧。。
看看seniors们都熬过来了。。
我希望我也能做到。。
我每次都说 ：biological sciences 真的不是人读的。。
哈哈
自从来到这里之后，发现身体越来越不健康了
时常被逼熬夜，然后记忆力也是每况愈下，加上生活作息也变得怪怪的
感觉上早上没办法集中精神上课，晚上又比之前来得清醒。。
唉。。。
烦啊～～
我想我真的需要某种心灵强行针。。
我这个人就是这样。。
提到读书，我还真的需要那种encouragement或者有种让我期待的东西，让我继续保持着动力。。
怎么说呢。。就好像之前在college,放学后去唱歌，或回家有很好吃很好吃的东东的话，那还蛮算是一种对我自己的encouragement..
哈哈
而在这里，其实好像没什么值得期待或者很开心很开心的事情
每天都做着同样的routine,闹钟被拔起床，早餐，上课，午餐，上课，放学，回到面对房里的四面墙，做点功课，睡觉。。
或者大家都觉得这样很理所当然。。
都说了我很奇怪。。
唉。。。
看，不知不觉又花掉了那么多该拿来读书的时间。。
没办法，真的想就那么让我宣泄一下下。。
最近也觉得有点小孤独落寞。。
*i must get used to this kind of self study*
there's nobody who can help u, except urself..
嗯真要加大把大把劲读书了
请保佑我。。。
Sunday, October 19, 2008
im officailly sick..TT
i guess this illness got accumulated by these two months of lack of sleep&stresss&my surrounding friends got some already sick..
now my turn..
urgh..
yesterday evrything was perfectly fine..
UNTIL afternoon dont know why i started to feel the pain in my throat.
gosh!
then i was like thinking -- cham, evrytime if i started sore throat then the next step sure is fever and then flu!
luckily i feel better today=)
*thanks for all my caring and thoughtful friends!!!=)!~*
just that my throat is still pain n i feel fatigue and no mood at all..
feel like lazy to go out, lazy to eat, lazy to do anything..
just like wanted to rest&rest&rest like there're infinite hours in a day..
BUT i got MOUNTAINS of lab reports and econs quiz to do:((
i managed to do a TINY bit of one of the THREE lab reports which are to be handed in this coming week.
and now i just started on my econs quiz!like till halfway lecture2 and i got TEN lectures for test!!
OMG~~
and during days of laziness and "emotionless-ness" and "moodless-ness", cup noodles might be my best friend!
*LOL yeah im eating cup noodles now*
haix..
i hope i can get well asap!!
*attention to all immune cells and immunoglobulin in my body, please help me to fight off whatsoever virus/bacteria that is currently attacking meTT*
urgghhh..
and yesterday night went out for dinner with my friends..
we went to BOONLAY FOOD COURT which has lotsa food stalls until we didnt know what to choose to eat..haha
in the end the six of us ordered like 13 dishes!!!=D
-mapo wan tan mee, cheekong, nasi lemak, fried kuey tiao, mango+longan dessert, strawberry ice kacang, sambal kangkung, lala, fried rice, carrot cake etc etc*
quite fulfilling the meal.
just that i'll certainly eat more if i didnt sore throat=(
*cannot eat spicy cannot eat fried ones..ish*
&&now i damn PISSED off by some SHAMELESS & BRAINLESS THIEVES/VILLAINS who stole lingerie and undergarment from just outside my hall room!!!
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG~~
and i was like damn BLUR and i just knew it after jiashin told me!!
and i TOTALLY didnt realise it when i hanged my clothes after laundry this morning!!
GOSH seriuosly too blur edi..
we suspect that they got disappear yesterday late night mb in the wee hours where evryone is sleeping..
and i swear im gonna lodge a complain to the hall management!
the thieves are really really inhumane and 变态!!!
DAMN PISSED~~~
×they are new and lots wei...*
and it happens to be so unfortunate that i didnt remember to bring them in..
ISH.....
they should get super BAD RETRIBUTION from what they did!!!
URRGGHHH...
*to think of it just only made me feel worse than illness*
WHAT HAPPEN TO HUMAN BEINGS IN THIS WORLD??
.....;X
Saturday, October 18, 2008
oya btw, today's org chem lab was quite a fun and interesting one!
we got to dye a cotton cloth with the dye indigo which we prepared by adding in lotsa stuffs and after many steps and spent like around 3hours++
haha
but the "output" was quite satisfying!
*YAY cheer with me my lab partner shuhui*
*i doubt if she knows my bloggie..haha*
we all just like to take pics in lab LAR..haha
the insoluble indigo dye pieces
me and the resulting dye cloth=D
shuhui and our resulting dye cloth=D
*navy blue cloth~
u r so lonely in this pic!!!
LOL im speaking nonsense again!!HEHE*
kla, really gtg!
more updates soon hopefully :X
lifeLESS, sleepLESS, MOREassignments and tests
3:05 PMuni life is real hectic!
no need for me to repeat, haha, yeah it's true..
so i shall not blog about my busy-ness and the feeling of lifeless-ness here:(
to have some relaxing time and take a break to "enjoy", we this bunch of friends(me, jiashin, tingyue, sinyu, weiheng)went to have CANADIAN PIZZA for dinner on last thurs, which is just after my bio test!HAHA
it's NICE i gotta say!
its thin crust + BBQ sauce + cheesey small sausages + pepsi = HEAVENLY-MADE=D
*suddenly found that jiashin and tingyue really look-alike(see their cute smiless, HAHA), dont they??=P*
and yesterday went to this HANTU(Home Again at NTU)MSA&AMCISA gathering night=)
quite fun and we got free supper too!LOL
knew a few new friends and some of them are really hilarious!!HAHA
my sometimes "off" sometimes "on" big bro!haha
*see his weird pose--he might "haunt" me if he sees this..HAHAHA*
my family reunion = tingyue gorgor + xiaoyu jiejie + fake papa in KL =D
in the end we hanged around till midnight, by the time i finished bathing, it was already near to 1am!!!
haha
if i didnt have the super rushing org chem lab report to hand up today, i might join them for supper outside NTU!!!(hey this might be the first time to have supper outside NTU and i heard they mentioned a mamak stall called "xiao fang", which i totally had no idea where's it but the rest all knew the place..haha..)
and in the end i rushed my report till almost 4am in the morning!!
OMGOSH!!!
couldnt really believe that i actually survived!!!HAHA
but im the kind of person who is more alert and awake during night time, but sleepy and abit of absent-minded during the day time.haha
should i call myself a nocturnal animal???HAHA
and yeah imagine i went to brush teeth at around 4am=.='''
and got scared by a greenish insect positioned near the door knob to washroom :-S
and it was like everybody else had closed their room door and had this kinda eeery atmosphere!=D
btw dear jiashin really can tahan!
she's like studying till later than the time i went to bed(~4am) and yet she woke up today morning earlier than me!
WOW really big big salute!
*now im very blameful for myself cos it's like evrybody else has started revision for the final exam which is bound to attack us in a couple of weeks but im still slacking behind and tied down by all sorts of undone and postponed reports and tutorials....*
*really dying~~TT*
KLA, im really gonna start doing one of my reports edi
next week : 3 lab reports + 1 econs test :(
TT
Monday, October 13, 2008
more more more..
9:30 PMyeah workload definitely becomes greater and greater here as time goes by:(
been overloaded with lotsa tutorials, lab reports, quizzes and midterm exams..
*head scratching and teeth biting~* :X
sighx..
it's really hard to imagine that i had actually been admitted to NTU around two months!!
*still adapting*
HAHA
&&cant really tell myself to face the reality that the BIG semester exams are coming!
in just another month!
know what, and this is what my friend told me and that i suddenly woke up from my dreamy and blurry state@@
HAHA..
last week, had my first midterm exam for organic chem.
i really scared that i would screw it up:X
&this week here comes my Introductory Bio quizTT
*dont ever think that the term "introductory" means something very general and basic, yea maybe it might sound that way, but this topic is real wide and i dont really know how to study for this course..somemore i always "fishing" in the lectures..TSKTSK fenwei ar..LOL*
mentioned about this sleepy syndrom, today i nearly missed my BS101 which is this Introductory Bio 830am class!!!
perhaps it's because i was charging my phone, which i used it as my alarm, and i put it quite "far away" from my bed, maybe that's why i didnt hear the alarm clock=.='''
luckily dear jiashin woke me up!
*imagine she can hear my alarm but not me~~oopss, haha*
everytime i woake up around 715am should i have 830 class.
and guess what!this morning i woke up around 740!!
GOSH.
i was rushing like nobody's business!
HAHA
except that i had no enough time to fill my water bottle and to wash my cup after drinking milo, haha, i managed to catch the so-called last bus and reached the lecture theatre just on time!:S
***
another problem bugging me is that i seriously had this morning-830am-lecture-sleepy syndrom!HAHA
i was like dozing off for the whole lecture!
and i couldnt help it!
feel quite bad actually but i swear that i already had enough sleeep!!
haix..
hope this wont wont wont happen again as i have 3days in a week where i have 830am lectures:(
***
yeah and yesterday was weihan's birthday:)
so me, jiashin and weishan went to celebrate with him.
kinda "lonely" birthday as only the four of us were there.LOL
but quite fun larz=P
the cake from Prima Deli is simply YUMMMMMMYYYYY!!!!!=)
the birthday guy weihan
*enjoy ur last teen year ba~HAHA*
see..like mickey mouse!HAHA
p/s : addict-ed to the Mr Bean's Rice Ball!!!
which only cost me 1.60 * tang yuan+soya juice+tou hua *
YUM YUMMMMM=)
oya and i passed the 歌咏组 歌唱选拔赛＝））
out of around 17 participants, im one of the five that are selected=)
we might have the chance to perform in their event and during the Charity Drive=)
actually i just went for it out of mere interest, but the euphoria of passing the audition is still quite great:)
i sang 不想懂得 by 张韶涵=)
*fake papa pls stop calling me that nickname u r teasing me with though the others who passed are all china ppl k!ISH..*
haha
they are also great in singing=)
cant wait for any chance to learn from them and have performances=)
kla, fenwei!
stop dreaming!
GO STUDY GO STUDY~ :(
*streeeesssss*
more updates=)
Sunday, October 5, 2008
BUGIS outing!=))
11:21 PMyup met up with dear qiuhua and shuying yesterday in spore here!
just to realise that there are actually so many of us who are studying in spore!!
HAHA
at first wanna meet up oso with susu and other union girlgang..
but they couldnt make it:(
yanyi went to spore too but we didnt get to meet up as she went to sentosa and other diff places than mine with her college friends.
scared that she'll lose her way, so we didnt meet up=((
have to wait for the next time!!
WE MUST MEET UP ANOTHER DAY!!!
the main thing about Bugis is that the price for the goods there are cheaper compared to other places!=)
and there're HEAPS OF GOODIES!!!
clothes, shoewear, accesories, nail art, saloon etc etc~
*susu dont be discoraged, we'll sure go shop together at bugis someday!!!*
TEEHEEzz
so we three met up at jurong east mrt station.
and took around 30mins to reach bugis(actually i didnt really check the time as we were busy chatting and catching up stuffs=P )
after a day of shopping, we finally got ourselves sth!=)
we bought susu's prezie and i intend to give her a surprise then when i go bac jb nex week!HEHE
hope she'll like it=)
i bought a blouse, shuying did nail art, qiuhua did nail art too and bought other stuffs like bag and shorts=))
oya!&& the blouse i bought is checked in pattern, qiuhua bought her checked bag, while we also got susu a checked "stuff"..HAHA
such a coincident!
luckily that day i didnt get myself into any kind of MAJOR ACTION OF LOSING MY WAY.
HAHAHA
cos my parents also quite worried about me and called me by the time i was on the way back.haha
kk, fenwei!!
dont be such a slacker anymore!!!
exams coming their way!!
im gonna be super busy~~~*sighx*
Saturday, October 4, 2008
updates...
1:24 AMPHEEWWW~~~really feel like taking a break from the hustle and bustle of life here:x
im EXTREMELY busy!!
busy with lecture notes and tutorials
*i have four tutorials where the two pairs of them on tuesday n thursday and letures notes and homework and lab reports coming evrytime~*
it's NEVER-ENDING~
like i hvn figured out the previous ones, i met new problems with the current ones:(
and due to my "slack-ness", im really falling behind..
sighx.
the busy with activities..
like hall jcrc activities*which i really really do hope i can enjoy more and not like now:(*, BS club activities, chinese society board decoration etc..
just to gain enough points.
but im still not enough points to ensure my stay here..gosh
last week went back jb, had nice and super cheap spaghetti at cafe toast & toast!!
HAHA
*yummy~delicious favourite!*
and then this tuesday went NIE to have lunch=)
had this super cheap and yummylicious and fulfilling yong-tau-fu!!!
HAHA
at first wanna eat their famous western food, but im thinking to save money for susu's birthday and tmr's outing!!LOL
so gonna tie up my pocket these few days~
these few days really are bad luck days for me:(((
1. long story for thursday..
to summarise, i left my passport in hall this morning.that day i needed to verify
my documents, all prepared but stupid me forgot to bring it out.as i had classes
full day, i only managed to go to Student Services Centre around 415pm, which
it'l close at 5pm.halfway only i rmb that i forgot to bring my passport, then
i went ask one of the guys in charge, he said NVM though i assured him TWICE
that i forgot to bring my original passport.then i thought pheew, luckily ok.so
i sat down filling some form, then when i went into the room to let the officers
verify my documnts, she said CANNOT, MUST BRING PASSPORT!i was like WTH, then
that time already very late, arnd 445pm. then she said she'l wait me till 515pm.
i though might be able in time.sekali no bus!!then i was like WALK+RAN for like
nearly 15-20km*dunno if exaggerated, HAHA*for the whole journey from SSC to
hall15, hall15 back to SSC, then again SSC bac to hall15.
the story ending is that in the end i made it at 530pm
luckily they are still there though already off some lights
but what i got?
my heels and toes bleed and swollenTT
i really need to find one day to familiarise myself with places in uni.
i seriously need it.
cos i have the WORST sense of direction in the world=X
2. i forgot to refill my body shampoo until i got into bathroom and wanna start
bathed.
so what to do?dry my body and go back room again to take@@
3. late to tutorial as dunno where is the tutorial room for replacement class.
walked alot extra and unnecessary route again as i only know a few ways in uniTT
4. i wore the wrong slippers into bathroom
came out again to take=.=
5. forgot my water bottle in room only UNTIL i reached the second-first floor of my
block.
my room at level 3...=_="'
HAHA
anyway, yesterday went to hall 11 to celebrate yiyun's birthday!=)
we have had a surpise for her!
and indeed she was SURPRISED!!lol
we hid inside her room with lights off, when she reached room, we sang her happy birthday!
and we had very super duper DELICIOUS secret recipe choc+cheese cake!!
OMG I SWEAR SECRET RECIPE'S CHEESE CAKE IS REAL POWER!!
lolx..
then we chatted and hanged around and took pics and like woke up the whole hall residents as we were very noisy!haha
---more updates hpefully---
P/S: shit, im gonna try to fix my pc prob as i couldnt opened my cbox!!!
URGHHH...