welcome to my little world.
i wonder if anyone ever feels this.
when exams come nearer and nearer, apart from rising stress level, the mind tends to wander and gets distracted easily, and prone to become emotionally-laiden.
this is what happened to me.
i tend to think more (not academically though=X), or rather stone/day-dreaming more often than i usually do.
perhaps it is the boredom from all the books and notes that put me off.
perhaps my mind and brain automatically tries to shut off things when i eagerly try to squeeze all the info into it.
and,
i become more emo than usual.
i feel like im standing alone in this battlefield.
once saw a good line, (not too sure if all the words are correct)
"You and I, me and you, and all the rest, we are all living together, but we live alone."
i cant agree more.
as i grow older, as i see and experience more things,
i cant help but to realise some of the cruelties in this world.
we cant escape.
unless we are dead.
but even if we are dead, they still exist.
what brings me to type all these out, i have no idea.
no particular reason, just some sort of emotional let-out, out of no where.
sometimes i wish i could be a simple-minded animal, then i dont have so many things to worry about.
and,
i feel emptiness ballooning inside me.
i dont know why.
but it is just there.
i feel that i am not loved and concerned.
but that isnt true i know, i still have family and friends.
haha
probably just a weird part of me which i cant comprehend.
well,
stop all these emo-ing please,
focus on the study fenwei!!!
*dont waste time!*
lol
and good luck to everyone having exams now!
take care~~~
especially in this rainy reason
just something random...
-"please dont cry, because i cant see your tears in the rain"-
Thursday, November 12, 2009
i thought my blog was dead.
since long time ago.
because i have no time to post,
because i have no reasons to post,
and because i dont know if there's anyone out there who is willing to spend some time reading my posts.
nevertheless, those are not important.
i have always treat here as a place, of my world, to express some of my thoughts and feelings when i dont know where and who i should direct them to.
*sounds like this is a place to voice out all sorts of my negative feelings haha*
yup so anyway, have been busy with school club activities past few months, apart from heavy schoolworks this semester.
first time being a social secretary in my school club, alot to tell but i have no idea where to start off..
i have learnt alot, know new friends,and it wasnt easy at all.
but, im glad that i have chosen this path, even though it is never a smooth one.
i have faced things i have never encountered before,
i have braced myself to make decision,
i have learnt my weaknesses,
and i have also learnt to trust myself and never lose faith with what i have decided.
again i have to thank everyone who have helped me alot along the way,
when i feel sad and streesed and on the brink of losing out,
i know i have to face this alone, and no one else except me, have to hold upon the responsibility,
but amidst all these,
i have seen helping hands.
not all but i know they are there.
and what more? i have survived!=)
and i know i wouldnt repeat my mistakes.
-----
again, here comes the exam period.
and again, i feel so unmotivated, compared to last time i dont know why.
but i have to work hard, this semester is really tough!
fenwei you must jiayou~~~
F O C U S !!!
-----
and, some kinda feelings have been spreading in me.
i wish that i could get rid of them.
they are unhealthy.
they make me differ from my true self.
they make me confused.
they make me couldnt concentrate on what i am supposed to do but sailing away in a wrong direction.
"there wont be any interception between two worlds"
i am not supposed to believe in fairy tales and fancy dramas.
i should wake myself up.
no worries, i think i can.
*to laugh it off, im still the mighty fenwei after all isnt it?~
it will go away.
at least that's what i think.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
i love gathering=)
like the way friends get to meet up and catch up with each other, and even like it if we are still able to chat like we used to be during the old old days~
haha.
it's totally even a rarer chance to get to gather with primary sch friends!!!=)
so there it goes~
imagine how time flies!it has been i think around 8 years we didnt see each other, right since we graduated from peihwa! 
the ladies=)
i notice how everyone changes, but the way we still can recognise each other(except "someone" hahahah), and chit-chat happily together, makes my heart felt the warmth and true value of friendship=)
hopefully we can get to organise another one next time!let's pray for the next time=p
anyway, had a new haircut yesterday!
i had dyed my hair!=)for the first time, using my own money~
i like it personally=)
ahh but too bad i forgot to ask the name of the handsome hairdresser, LOL, or else next time i can ask him to do my haircut again, cos he's really skilled!hehe
Thursday, July 16, 2009
monkeys all over=XX
beautiful straits view at tanjung emas
me and dear mum=)
the durian!
the old street's view~
eat rambutan-sss~
forever-young and pretty aunt=D
shirley and yitin jiejie=)
gosh and more durian-sss!!
after all the eating-sss,
me and me mum kena gastrointestinal infection=(
vomitted all day long since monday, till i scared=X
luckily getting better now.phewww~~
we still couldnt figured out the actual cause though.
and now i believed the saying that there must be a price to pay for, for enjoying and getting too pleased with oneself after all the food cravings!haha!
*now as i see it, how did i just turn away my favourite pizza right in front of my eyes?*
appetite really does work wonders.lol.
cos i dont have much appetite right now=(
need more time to regain my huge appetite!
and i shall wait patiently for that day to come!health comes first!
*or shall i?HAHAHA*
Friday, July 10, 2009
first pay that i have ever received in my life!=D
cant properly describe my feeling of proud and satisfaction=)just very happy and felt accomplished~
the moment of "achievement" LOL
and part of the pay turned out to be...
a korean BBQ gathering with my sweet buddies=)
the food were absolutely yummilicious!!!
to top that up, we had some drinks and games afterwards at Station One Cafe=)
taadaa~ *i bet u can see the slanting angles=D*
dear shuying, susu and me!
and it's time to try to "repair" my poor shorts=(
kena bleach accidentally due to my own fault=(
hope the flower pattern that i have sewn on didnt look awful~=S
*see the faded patches?*
Sunday, July 5, 2009
this was the first time i tried mexican meal;]
the restaurant is called El Migos and is located in sutera mall, a nice recommendation for whoever that wants to try out mexican dishes=)
and the prices are quite affordable!
the signature japanese style pizza (it sounds contradicting to taste a japanese style pizza in a mexican restaurant though=pp)
sambal baked rice
grilled chicken + rice + corn soup
grilled cajun fish
step and daddy=)
me and mum=)
me and the birthday girl=)
the forever-act-cute little sis XD
and we went secret recipe to buy her "birthday cake" which made up of two slices, one was choco mud fussion, the other was mango passion. and on top of that, two scoops of vanilla+chocolate ice-cream (not in the picture=p)
YUMMY~~~
luckily i was working full-time in the previous month, or else im surely to gain lotsa lotsa weight out of my powerful cravings for food!!!XD (even out-do my dad=X haha)
and talk about my last month job, i couldnt help but curse them under my breath!
i have never felt more exploited and cheated than i am now, what a lame excuse they are giving me now!
imagine now it's almost one week since start of july, and they havent even paid me!they better realise that no matter how good-behaviour-ed or good-tempered i am as seen, i have my limitations too!
what with the wrong spelling of my name on the cheque(i dont even remember anyone complaining about my handwriting) and the out-of-office-hour-so-i-couldnt-ask-the-manager-of-ur-cheque all kinds of excuses!
and they even replied me that sorry they are too busy to attend to me when i took the initiative to ask them the outcome and when can i actually get my pay.
and she (the supervisor) even couldnt give me a proper date for issuing my cheque when i asked her! only to get her reply that she'll contact me when the cheque is ready!
im just thinking and hoping that this wont be any of their plot!
alright let's see who gets the most out of this in the end!
hmph~
and i would never ever recommend anyone to dine in there or even work at that kind of place!to imagine me even considering of helping them by working there part-time someday in the future!
ohh the sound of it makes me sick right now!
i wonder how long will they be able to hold a good reputation!
feel pity for my colleagues who are still working there!hopefully they are not being bullied=(